TLDR: In this blog, I talk about my personal experience with sex after a hysterectomy and answer the main questions I see come up from woman about what sex after a hysterectomy is like.
Don’t fancy reading this one? Let me read this one out to you!
My Experience Of Sex After A Hysterectomy
Hey, I’m Rachel and almost four years ago I had to have a full hysterectomy due to cancer cells found (basically everywhere) on my reproductive organs.
When I found out I would need a hysterectomy I was 30 years old.
‘In my prime’ according to the many stereotypes surrounding women.
Stereotype or not, I felt I was in my prime. So finding out I was about to undergo something as life changing as a hysterectomy made me wonder what sex would be like after a hysterectomy, when I was so young.
I had so many questions and I found exactly zero real life articles online about anything to do with a hysterectomy, especially something as taboo as sex after a hysterectomy, how dare we wonder! : )
So now, let’s talk about sex after a hysterectomy.
I want to start by saying don’t worry.
Do not panic!
I was. I searched high and low for answers because I was living in fear that I would have no sex life after my hysterectomy and that is not true.
I was Googling things like ‘what is sex like without a cervix’ and ‘is an orgasm the same after hysterectomy’ on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.
One thing I do know is that sex changes as you get older, hysterectomy or not. Relationships change, people change. So you never know, if you’re feeling differently about sex after a hysterectomy, you could have felt that way any way as you and your relationship with sex and/or your partner evolves.
Personally I feel more empowered than ever after my surgery, something I wasn’t expecting. But that also could be because I have grown (I’m now 35, I think I may be a woman?!)
So here are some things I have learnt about sex after a hysterectomy.
If you’re a husband looking to support your partner after her surgery and looking for advice for husbands after hysterectomy I have written lots about this here.
Are orgasms the same after a hysterectomy?
Everyone is different. So this is difficult to answer.
You may find you are slightly drier and so lack of lubrication might lead to it taking longer to reach orgasm. It may help to invest in a lube, do some research here because after my hysterectomy I found my vagina was very sensitive to different lubricants, water based lubricants are much kinder to the body and I found less likely to result in infections. I would avoid silicone lubes.
Another massive part of this is you, your confidence and your personal orgasm journey. Lots argue orgasms are much better as we get older as we are more confident and we have found what works for us after years of, ahem, practise.
In short, I found that orgasms were pretty much the same after my hysterectomy.
To Sum Up: Are Orgasms The Same After A Hysterectomy
- For me, yes
- Orgasms can change as we get older and learn more about ourselves regardless of surgery
- You might need to use lube (water-based)
Can you masturbate after a hysterectomy?
Once you have been signed off by your Doctor, yes. Until then nothing can go inside, and to be honest I am not even sure you would want it to!
So anything internal is a no go when it comes to masturbation.
But what about external pleasure after a hysterectomy, I hear you ask!
Personally, I would avoid it. When you orgasm you more than likely feel your stomach contract slightly. As you have just had a hysterectomy you will have had your stomach opened in some way (key hole or laparotomy), so it is best to let it recover. I have had a laparotomy and wrote all about my recovery from a laparotomy here. Although my hysterectomy was keyhole, I had a laparotomy to remove the tumour.
Just think about how great that orgasm will be once you’re all safe and signed off!
To sum Up: Can You Masturbate After A Hysterectomy?
- Only if you are signed off by the doctor, even externally, as your stomach may contract
Is sex the same without a cervix After A Hysterectomy?
I lost count how often this was in my search history before my surgery. I just couldn’t imagine that sex would be the same without a cervix! I thought that was the sensitive part that (whatever you are using!) hit.
Turns out, that isn’t true. Maybe even quite naive on my part.
I can confirm that for me sex feels the same without a cervix in all positions where the cervix is hit the most.
I asked lots of other woman who have had the same surgery this question and this response was very mixed between the same, different and better. Yes, that is right, some people have even said sex is better without a cervix!
If you were having the surgery because of endo you could have experienced painful sex, hence why I think lots of people now find sex more enjoyable after a hysterectomy.
Can You Squirt After A Hysterectomy?
If you could before the surgery then there is no reason you wouldn’t be able to after, as those glands that product what you squirt will still be there.
As lots of people had the surgery due to painful sex lots find they are able to explore more after and have reported they are able to squirt after a hysterectomy, but couldn’t before!
But essentially yes, you should be able to squirt after a hysterectomy as the bits that involve that happening will still be intact!
Sex With A New Partner After Hysterectomy
If you are with someone when you have your surgery there is a very high chance they will be aware you cannot have sex until you are signed off by your Doctor.
However, if you were single when you had your surgery and are heading back in to the dating world you might be wondering what sex is like with a new partner after your hysterectomy surgery.
It might seem very daunting thinking about not only having sex with someone new but also having sex with your new situation too, double new!
My advice if you are worried is mention it to the person first. Then they can take it slowly if that is what you need.
My next advice whether you tell them or not is make sure you are really in the mood, if you’re with someone new that you like and are comfortable with then the chances are this will not be a problem.
My final piece of advice is to experiment alone first. Use something on yourself internally, gently, and see how it feels. I am pretty confident that you won’t notice much difference to times you have done this before. This will be a great way to build your confidence.
Lastly I would just like to add that the ‘cuff’ is scar tissue, it is incredibly strong and difficult for anything to get through. It is very unlikely that you will have a problem with penetrative sex, no matter how hard the person hits it!
To Sum Up: Sex With A New Partner After A Hysterectomy
- it would be a good idea to mention it to the person first
- Make sure you are really in the mood
- If you aren’t comfortable doing that, try using toys on yourself, alone first
- The ‘cuff’ is very strong, it would be hard to penetrate
Pain during sex after a hysterectomy
Leave this blog, call your Doctor. It is not worth the risk of the cuff tearing or any other risks associated with sex after a hysterectomy. Call your doctor!
What sex toys to use after hysterectomy
As long as you are signed off by your Doctor, you can definitely use them. Toys are a really good way to experiment with what you like after the surgery. What you like may be different but it might not.
In Conclusion: Sex After A Hysterectomy
So many women report a better sex life after a hysterectomy, which could be due to their surgery being performed for conditions which cause painful sex (eg endo)
You’ll never know if things change it is due to your surgery or something that would have happened naturally with ageing anyway.
Try to relax, enjoy your sex and if there is pain call your Doctor.
I am part of a few hysterectomy groups on facebook that I read, ask questions and answer people when I can, which is where I got most of this information. If you aren’t in a facebook group, have a look as there are a few and they are a great source of information.
I hope this has helped!