Why am I socially awkward suddenly?
I would say I am pretty socially awkward. And I’ll tell you what, 2020/21 hasn’t helped.
Let me give you an example of me pre covid. Meeting my friends dad for the first time. I didn’t know how to greet him, he went for a hug, I went for a kiss on the cheek. He turned his head and it ended in me practically snogging my friends dad…
There are so many stories I could tell you of times my socially awkward ways have caused me a red face.
As we start to come out of lockdown, having been living in these tiny bubbles of people, it can cause you to feel socially awkward even if you would consider yourself a social butterfly back in 2019.
Life has changed.
We spent a whole year finding new routines and learning to live with the same, or very little, company. The people we spent the year with have become our comfort blankets and it is okay if you are not quite ready to expand your world just yet.
Us humans are surprisingly adaptable. For some, the return of pre covid days fills us with anxiety and makes us feel socially awkward. Even when it comes to social situations that would have previously filled us with joy.
Your new social awkward nature might have thrown you off a little.
You might have thought that you’d be buzzing to get back to brunches with the girls in the city.
You might have been dreaming of night clubs, pubs and picnics with people outside your household.
But, now the time has come and you’re retreating a little. That’s fine. It’s normal.
Your social awkward feelings could just be from the fact that you need to ease yourself back in. Think small. Maybe try meeting just one or two people, then gradually introduce yourself into big groups again.
Here are a few things that have helped me to feel less socially awkward, or to at least learn my cues.
Why am I socially awkward?
My hormones play a part
I know that certain times of the month I feel more socially awkward and anxious than other times. I always log this on my period app and it seems that the peak of my anxiety is often just before my period is coming.
Knowing this has helped me to work out when is a good time to do large group meet ups and just before my period is due is NOT a good time. Certain times of the month I am very confident. Other times I just fancy a little isolation. We can also blame the moon here I think!
My friends understand
I mentioned to my friend that I was feeling a little nervous about returning to real life outside of the comfort of my household, and you know what? They said they are too!!
This was a shocker for me because I always thought of that friend as a social butterfly. This pandemic has even taken down the extroverts! Talk to your friends about how you feel and be honest, you might be surprised who else is feeling the same.
I say no
I decided to say no to things that I know will heighten my socially awkward feelings. I am just not going to put myself through it. Someone invited me on a holiday where I would know 1 person out of 15. A pre corona me would have said yes, then felt anxious leading up to it and potentially feeling socially awkward during the holiday.
So, I said no. I felt liberated knowing I have saved myself all those sleepless nights!
I’m easing myself in
I don’t plan on going from 0-100 real quick. I plan on easing myself into social occasions. It is actually exhausting socialising after a year off. I’ve been seeing people outside for walks and short meetups before I commit to anything larger and for longer.
I’m thinking about self care and my mental health
More than ever, I am learning to look after myself and my mental health. I have found ways to avoid burnout at work, I have a strict self care routine and I take time to check in with myself. I have found that my mood can also cause me to be more socially awkward. If I am in a good mood I am more likely to be confident.
How do you overcome your socially awkward feelings?
Lots of Love,
Our Remedy xxx